They always say that giving everything you have is no longer healthy. This holds true most especially if the recipient is somewhat a usurper. You will definitely lose everything that you have without even getting something that you deserve.
When it comes to women, it is also not good for you to give everything that you have. That means you show too much care or passion even if it is still your first time to date. Well, it is really okay to show you care but never show that you are too obsessed caring for her that you would give everything just to make her happy. That sounds unfair on your part most especially that you are not 100% sure that she will, in turn, like you the same way that you do. So remember the rule, do not make things like your world only revolves around her. Reserve something for yourself and make her want you more.
As the saying goes, less is more. So when you are less into her, the more likely she will be into you. I can somehow relate it as a reverse psychology to women. First you show them you are interested in them and then leave the rest up to them. Make them feel that you are a good catch and that they cannot simply resist you. You have to play the game wisely because you might just end up losing her totally. Just a bit of this and that would do as long as you are effective in letting her want you more.
This could be quite a difficult tip that I could share with you because the whole move is really up to you. If you play nicely, then you got it. If you do not, then you would definitely fail. So here are some tips that I would like to share to you to help you make this more exciting.
- Do not be around for her all the time.
One of the common mistakes of suitors is that they let the woman feel that they are around her all the time. Wherever she goes, they will definitely be there to do anything that she needs. While this could help in letting her feel how serious you are with her, there is still a downfall to this because the girl might just get annoyed with you in the long run and dump you just like that.
So the key here is that do not be present at all times in her sight. Let her look for you or wonder why you haven’t called. When handled appropriately, she will certainly say “yes” to you in no time.
- Let her do most of the talking.
In a conversation, it is okay to do the starters. But make sure that she will be the one to do most of the talking. Let her share anything she wants and let her be the one to ask questions about you.
- Just play it cool.
When you get rejected, play it like you are never affected. She might just change her mind after that. Remember that the more you show you are into her, the lesser she feels that she’s into you.
It is innate in a man to really talk with girls most especially if they find her beautiful and appealing. That is why there is actually no hard and fast rule in talking with girls because this is where your creativity will be tested on how you would be able to get her into talking to you even for the first time.
Naturally, if a person is stranger to you, you would never divulge something personal thinking that it might only be used against you. Women wear masks whenever men talk to them. They do not give their full trust right away to a man whom they have just met. That is why it could be hard for you to really get to know her better most especially if it is still your first time. However, like they always say, with practice, you would certainly be able to let her unveil the mask and tell you a bit of personal matters.
Talking with girls and getting their trust is a matter of skill. From a viewpoint of a woman, a guy is able to get a woman’s trust if he was able to know the following information:
- Her full name
- Perhaps bits of the address where she can be found like the school she goes to, the gym where she enrolled and the like.
- What she has been up to lately.
- The career that she is planning to pursue and her reasons for that.
- Her phone number.
- What she is planning to do right after your talk.
These are just actually some of the information that you might be able to get from a girl within a few minutes if you have mastered the skill. Do not feel down if you would not be able to get it right away. Remember that you would always have the chance to do so. Do not rush it because everything will come out naturally.
In talking to girls effectively, you should first be able to come up with a plan of how you are going to unveil her mask. So how would you exactly do it? Let me suggest a few things that I have learned from my researches and surveys.
- Make her feel comfortable with you by sharing something about yourself first.
The best way to divulge information from someone to is also divulge yours. Let her feel that it is okay to share a few matters with you because you have also shared about yours.
Do not make it as a one-sided conversation. Hence, if you want her to give you her number, then assure her that you would never tell it to anyone or you could also give yours. Exchange of numbers would be much better because the situation would not appear creepy to her.
- Ask her questions from general to specific.
There is always a so-called stages in asking questions. Try to be conscious about how specific your questions could go because it might only scare and intimidate her.
- Talk about something you know that both of you could relate.
If you think you share the same interest on one thing, then perhaps this could be a good topic for you to talk about.
Put yourself in the shoes of a lady. What would you feel if you are being told that you are too sexy even if it is still the first time that you have met? Does it sound too creepy? True, it is indeed a compliment. However, it is a compliment that is somewhat worded incorrectly. Instead of receiving a “thanks” and a smile”, you would most probably see an eyebrow raised.
Women really wanted to be appreciated. That is a fact that can never be rebutted. However, if said the wrong way, women would feel intimidated instead of being thankful. They would feel as if they are harassed by the very words uttered, not unless if she is some sort of an FHM model.
When you appreciate a woman, choose the right words. Think of it twice or thrice before completely saying it. If you have said the wrong words, then you might have just lost your chance of getting to know more about her better. So to help you, here are some tips that I can share with you when it comes to effectively choosing the right words:
- Instead of saying “You are so sexy”, say “You look great”.
A girl would really think that you are creepy if you tell her that she is so sexy. I am quite sure that she is thinking that you might be up to something or that you see her as some sex object only and not a woman.
So instead of saying these words to her, you can say it in a nicer way like “You look great”. Although it does not really literally translate into something that you intended to say, at least you were able to say it cool without actually intimidating her.
- Instead of saying “I like your outfit”, say “The dress looks good on you”.
No real man would ever tell a woman that he likes her outfit. Not unless you are some fashion guy who knows the fad, you would somehow give the girl an impression that you are just kidding around or that you are actually gay.
If you want to appreciate the way she dresses on your date, you can say “You look beautiful with your dress” or that “The dress looks good on you”. In this way, you would be able to send her the right message without offending her or giving her some second thoughts of believing you.
- Instead of saying “You turn me on”, say “I like you”.
Saying her that she turns you on is like saying that she has been successful in seducing or attracting you. Well, who are you to tell that to her? She might just get the wrong idea. Even if your intention is just to compliment her, you would only make her intimidated. Perhaps she would want you to get out of her sight.
- Instead of saying “You are so attractive”, say “You are beautiful”.
Both statements may sound similar but the latter is much better to hear than the former. The former sounds too arrogant while the latter sounds a bit formal but sweet. If you want to compliment her, just remember the very rules. CHOOSE THE RIGHT WORDS.
Sometimes, men ask out women only at a time that suits them well without even thinking whether the lady is available at that very time. So the tendency for this case is that you would definitely receive a “no” as an answer. Thus, if you want to have a “yes”, then let the girl tell you when would be the perfect time that works best for her.
Like they always say, it takes two to tango. That is the same thing when it comes to dating. You would never be able to get her confirmation if you propose a date at a time in which she is not available. Technically, how would she be able to go out with you if she already had prior appointments? So if you are asking her out, let her decide what time suits her best. In this way, you would surely not receive a “no” for an answer.
So how would such conversation go? Try to check this sample conversation. Although I am not really telling you to exactly do it, I would just like you to give you an idea of how conversation could go without intimidating the girl.
Boy: How about we grab some coffee or drinks sometime this week?
Girl: Yeah sure. I’m okay with that.
Boy: When is it good for you?
Girl: My schedule’s actually full most of the week but I can make it on a Saturday night or maybe Sunday morning.
Boy: Saturday night would be perfect. Let’s say 8 o’clock maybe?
Girl: 8 o’clock would be fine.
Boy: Great. Perhaps we could also grab some food. Are you okay with that?
Girl: I’d love that. See you on Saturday then.
Boy: Perfect. See you on Sunday!
You can actually change the conversation a bit. But just make sure that when you ask her out, you would be able to deliver the lines spontaneously. It is okay to prepare your lines. Just don’t blurt it out like you’ve been memorising it all along.
If you were able to get her availability, surely you could go out more often. Put your best foot forward. Let her feel that she is the only one that you cared for and that you are available anytime for her. When you ask her out at a time that works for her, you would certainly experience the following advantages:
- A quick “yes”
A woman could rarely say “no” if she is available whenever you make an offer. You can get an instant confirmation without you worrying when would be the next time that you would be able to take her out.
- More dates in the future
When you already know her availability, it would be easier for you to ask for a 2nd date or so. Since she already trusts you, then you would certainly let her agree to your invitation.
- Know her better
With the dates that you have been into with her, surely you get to know her better. Hence, a good advantage on your part to do your move.
- You became one of her priorities
Since you have fit into her schedule, then most likely she would never replace it with some other appointments.
Women are just anywhere, I tell you. But what makes it difficult for you to pick up a girl in random is that you would be dealing with an absolute stranger. You do not know anything about her and she does not know you either. The chances of getting a girl to date are quite small. So, if I were you, I would pick up someone whom I have already known for years or at least a few months.
A good candidate for you to go out with is your co-worker. You would probably get along well with each other. Since you are both working in the same place, then there is a great possibility that what she likes is also what you like. It is a perfect match indeed.
One advantage in dating a co-worker is that you already know a bit about her. In fact, if you have been partners for years, then you would most probably know a lot of things about her. You get along with each other well and you share the same interest.
However, such love story would not always end up with a “happily ever after”. Simply because you do not know whether she is interested in going out with you or that she is not yet open to go out with anyone else. Quite risky, eh?
Well, there is actually no harm in trying. True, there may be downsides in picking up a co-worker but at least you could be positive enough to get your co-worker to agree in going out with you. Let me share with you some tips that you could use in asking your co-worker out:
- Always prepare for the worse.
When you ask her out, do not expect her to immediately say yes to your invitation. Prepare yourself to receive a rejection and take it easily. Accept the worst thing that could happen. Remember that you both work in the same place. You sure do not want to have a bad working relationship with your co-worker.
- Ask someone who works at a different department.
Although they say that going out with someone you really know is an advantage, still, it would be much better to go out with someone you haven’t come across with every day, at least. A girl from the other department could be a good choice. Sometimes, going out with someone you have known for years could lead to unfortunate drama. So avoid from getting into that point.
- Respect her decision.
Whenever she says no, respect it. You will always have the chance to meet a better woman. Remember to put yourself into her shoes to understand her more. What would you feel if you are on the same situation? In this way, you would be able to understand why she rejected your offer. Do not play hard on her. Accept it that you are not just her type.
- Be discreet with this matter.
Women do not want men who are tattletale. Be a man and keep it to yourself. Do not embarrass her by telling almost everyone about what happened.