I understand that you get scared at first when you have the chance to talk to her. Being nervous is actually really normal for everybody, even those who are “experts” at this. It only shows that you are romantically interested in her that is why you feel that butterflies in your stomach.
When we get nervous, we sometimes resort to our creativity just to get to talk to her. I know you must be thinking of sending her text messages or emails or you would interact with her through social networking sites. However, there are really some who thinks way beyond what we can think of, and that is to send messages or love notes through the girl’s close friends. Sounds brilliant? Well, I do not think so that is why I will not recommend it to you. Here are the reasons why you should not use her friends as your bridge towards her:
- You might just send her the message that you are really coward to face her.
If you keep on sending her notes or messages through her friends, she might only think that you are not man enough to face her. It turns a woman off if a guy is doing this kind of tactic. It only implies that you do not have the confidence to really come to her and talk to her personally. Men may have fears but if they are man enough, they would certainly be able to surpass it. That is the true essence of manhood.
- Not only that you would look bad in front of her but also to her friends.
Sending messages to her through her friends would only disclose everything that should only be kept between you and the girl. That is why if something happens along the way, expect that her friends would also be able to know everything. You will not only be embarrassed in front of her but also to her friends. That is the sad truth if you are too vulgar with your friends. You get to know everything with no exceptions.
Remember that girls are “talkative” by nature. So if she turns you down, the whole club certainly knows about it with an eyebrow raised on you.
- She might be thinking that you are only interested in one of her friends.
Making her friends as your bridge towards her might send her the wrong message. She might only think that you are actually interested with one of her friends and not her. I tell you, women are sensitive and also jealous. They are susceptible of thinking a lot of things without even you thinking about it.
If you are really sincere about getting closer to her, then do not use her friends. Stand up and be a man. Do your move before anyone else does.
- Worst, she would just treat you like a “boy”.
The worst part of this scenario is that she would only be treating you as a “boy”, someone who is not a man enough and immature to play games on her. So if you do not want her to treat you that way, gather yourself and talk to her one on one.
They always say that you would be able to get a good a response from a person if you will talk to her at the right time and at the right place. This would seem to be logical if you try to analyse the pros and cons. That is why, as a rule of thumb, if you want to talk to her, pick a time that works for her best.
Once you have already picked a time at her convenience, is it already the end of the story? Well, this could just be the beginning like what most of the people would say. This is because from that point, you will be left with the discretion on what exactly to do and how would you be able to send her the right message. So how do you keep her wanting you? Here are some tips that I could share with you to give you an idea of how we, girls, think.
- Do not try to interrupt her when she is obviously doing something.
This is a matter of respecting her when you see her doing a lot of things. Women, at this stage, are totally on their focus in accomplishing their goals. If you try to interrupt and distract her, you would just be a nuisance in her eyes.
So when you approach her, make sure that she is free and that she is not doing anything. Perfect timing is the key. So when you found one, grab it like there is no tomorrow. But if she is really up to something, then try talking to her some other time. You can always have the chance, trust me.
- Talk to her when she is alone.
When you see her alone, like waiting for someone or something, then perhaps you can try talk to her. It may be quite awkward at first. But once you have established your rapport, I am sure that you would be able to talk to her spontaneously.
If you see a girl all alone, it may be that she is waiting for someone whom she can talk to about certain things. That is why if you feel that she needs someone to talk to, then better present yourself right away before anyone does.
- Do not insist if she wants to be alone.
However, there are some cases wherein women would really want to be alone. That means, never talk to her or even offer a listening ear. When she wants to be alone, respect it. Perhaps when she is already fine, she will be thinking of you as the first one she would be able to talk to.
- Do not try to talk to her all the time.
If you have the chance, you grab it. But it does not mean that if you have the chance, you will grab it all the time. Somehow she might only get bored seeing your face all the time. So whenever you decide to talk to her, make sure to time it right. Make her want you more because of your absence. I tell you, this works all the time.
Let us face it. Girls are really materialistic. It is somewhat their avenue to release their stress and depression over certain things. They will shop here and there just to forget about their problems at work or even at home. That is why you can never blame them if you see them spending so much over some material things. The more they spend, the more they would be able to forget.
Most men do not find the relevance between shopping and relieving from stress because technically, men are men. You certainly have different ways to relieve yourself from stress. But for girls, this is the only way, that is to say the most effective one. That is why telling her “I think you have already been spending too much” is really a big no-no. She will definitely flare up and will never talk to you ever again.
I know, I know. You really cannot jive in with women’s language. So the trick here is that to change the very words you are going to say that will not anger her. If you want to remind her, say this in a simpler and more humble manner. I am quite sure that she would be able to understand you. In relation to this scenario, let me share to you some of important matter that you need to consider in order to have a smooth relationship with a girl:
- Do not push her into doing something she does not want.
Every person wants to be independent. Just like with girls, they do not want you to insist and force them to do something they hate because surely, they will hate you forever. Pushing them to the limits is not advisable. Remember that girls are very sensitive. One wrong move and you are out.
If you are really serious about her, you would extend your patience in understanding her all the time. But of course, do not forget that you also have to establish that you are a man and not just some slave who will always be following after her.
- Do not think and decide for her.
Women get irritated with men who keep on deciding for her actions. She feels as if she is very constrained and held in a bar like she can no longer do anything. I know men must have the authority. But at least, give her the liberty to choose what she really wants. Perhaps, she would appreciate you more if you respect her decisions rather than contradicting it.
- Do not tease her like there is no tomorrow.
Teasing her gently is good. But teasing her too much is something that you should really avoid. If you keep on doing this, she would certainly get annoyed and wished that you would be gone. Do not tease about something that is too personal. Doing it otherwise would only make you look bad in front for you. So always keep yourself on guard about this matter before you will regret it.
I know you might have already heard about this but even if it becomes one of the abused ways of attracting women, it still remains to be one of the best. Its magic never fades. That is why if you have run out of idea on how to make her want you, then you could perhaps strike a simple joke that could make her laugh.
Having a good sense of humour is a gift. Well, for most. But eventually, if you will learn the basics of a good conversation, you would certainly be able to develop your skills in making her laugh effectively. As long as you can create a good punch line, I am quite sure that it will really work all the time.
This time, creativity is a must. You have to think of many possible ways in which you could get through the hearts of women. As much as possible, your style must be original or else you would just end up mimicking others. If you want the girls to like you just the way you are, then make your style truly different from that of others.
When you try to make her laugh, it does not mean that you have to tell jokes all the time or tell something funny that you can see around you. This is because there will be a tendency that you might just be overdoing it instead of only using it at a perfect timing. That is why I would like to share with you something that might be able to help you in this phase of your conversation with a girl.
TIP # 1: Telling dirty jokes is a big no-no.
If you think all women are the same, then you are thinking primitive. Women have different likes and dislikes. That is why if one woman bought this kind of joke, surely the other one would only disregard it. That is the same thing with jokes. If other women in the bar bought it, you cannot expect that a girl you have met at a coffee shop would feel the same way.
Since most women are sensitive to dirty jokes, then you better eliminate it from the list of jokes you have prepared as a starter on your conversation.
TIP # 2: Do not make fun of other people.
This is the worst thing that you could ever do if you want to attract women. This is because she might only think that you would also do the same thing at her behind her back. So if you want to tell something funny, do it more creatively.
TIP # 3: Do not be the first one to laugh hard at your jokes.
If you are going to tell a joke, make sure that you will not be the first one to laugh at it. It is quite weird for you to do it because you would just appear desperate. Try doing it with a serious face. They might just be laughing hard about it.
TIP # 4: Do it intelligently.
Having a good sense of humour is not just all about telling jokes. It is also a matter of talking intelligently with good punch lines.
Meeting women could be as simple as 1-2-3. The only problem I see that most men encounter is that they do not have enough courage and creativity to do it. Most often than not, men would end up babbling about a lot of things that would only annoy and intimidate women.
I actually have an idea that I could share with you to effectively meet women in a suave way. Why not consider taking out your very cute niece or nephew with you while strolling at the mall? Women are fascinated with men who are looking after a small cute child. They find it more appealing and very manly.
Although this idea may sound a bit absurd because you are just actually using the presence of your niece or nephew, this idea still works most of the time. Seeing you with a cute kid by your side is a plus point for women who really like children. You might just be surprised that the woman would be the one to approach you and say “hi”. Sounds a good plan, right?
It turns on a woman to see a guy looking after a child because it would somehow reflect a man’s maturity and being responsible. Women want security from men. Seeing them cool with kids really amazes women. It makes them more open with you that is why they might even approach you first. So when they approach you, here are some of the things that I want you to remember:
- Say “hi” with a sweet smile.
Always remember the basics. Greet the lady. Say “hi” with a cute and sweet smile and make it more natural. You actually do not have to wait for her to approach her. The moment you see her smile towards you, be courteous and greet her. You would know she is interested with you if she replies back.
- Introduce your niece or nephew.
Make it clear to her from the start that you are just with your niece or nephew. This is because bringing a kid with you might send her a wrong message. She might think that the child is your son or daughter. So introduce to her the kid. I am sure she would likewise introduce herself to the kid and to you as well. Grab this opportunity to know more about her and let her know more about you.
- Strike a small but good conversation.
Right after you introduce yourself to her, you can start a small conversation. Perhaps you can talk about the place you are currently into or some observation you have. Think of topics you can talk about that does not require a lengthy conversation. This could be your opportunity to impress the girl.
- Do not make the conversation too long.
Needless to say, striking a conversation with a stranger should never be kept long. The lady is very conscious about that and keeping it too long might just bore her. She might even think that you are too creepy. So when you converse with her, make sure you do not make it long. At the end of the conversation, if you are very positive that she likes you, you can ask for her number.