While most people say a lot of things about what you should do in picking up a girl, I say that you can always have it your way. You can explore a lot ways to get the attention of the girl you like but nothing beats the way that you could originally think of.
Every person fixes certain things in a manner he is used to. Well, he can use DIY manuals or he can ask his friends how to do it. But the moment you place your hands on the material, you are definitely doing it your own way based on what you have learned. That is the same thing when it comes to picking up a girl. You can learn a lot of different tips from different perspectives but when you are on your own, you would certainly do it the way you think would be best.
There is actually nothing wrong in searching for effective ways to pick up a girl and ask her for a date. You can use these as your guide but never do exactly what it says. It would just turn out that the lady is dating someone and not you. Likewise, it would only be difficult for you in the long run because you are establishing an ideal you, which is not actually the real you.
So how is it going to pick up a girl your way? I have come up with good ideas that you might as well consider. Here, try to take a look at these:
- Talk about things that you are familiar with.
Since you are still not sure about the girl’s likes and dislikes, then what could possibly a good topic for you to converse with? Well, it all boils down to your creativity in finding something interesting that both of you can talk about.
So the best topic that you can have for this simple talk is something that you are very familiar with. Talk about things that you really want to talk about. From there, you could be yourself without pretending to know things that you really have not encountered in your entire life.
You would appear very knowledgeable, which turns on a girl. But of course, never overdo it. Sometimes, you would appear too confident that most girls would already be annoyed.
- Talk about nonsense.
This could not be a good idea but there are some instances that talking about nonsense really helps. Such technique could be used if you have run out of topics to talk about or that you are too nervous to talk to a girl.
When there is plan A, make sure that you have a plan B. That is why this idea of talking nonsense might just be able to save you from a boring conversation. So you better have a plan B or else you would lose your only chance of dating with her.
- Do not memorize your lines.
Although you have planned certain things that you wish to talk to the girl, do not make it appear as if you are memorizing your lines. It would be too obvious most especially if you forget even just a single word. Prepare a line but be spontaneous.
It is innate in a man to really talk with girls most especially if they find her beautiful and appealing. That is why there is actually no hard and fast rule in talking with girls because this is where your creativity will be tested on how you would be able to get her into talking to you even for the first time.
Naturally, if a person is stranger to you, you would never divulge something personal thinking that it might only be used against you. Women wear masks whenever men talk to them. They do not give their full trust right away to a man whom they have just met. That is why it could be hard for you to really get to know her better most especially if it is still your first time. However, like they always say, with practice, you would certainly be able to let her unveil the mask and tell you a bit of personal matters.
Talking with girls and getting their trust is a matter of skill. From a viewpoint of a woman, a guy is able to get a woman’s trust if he was able to know the following information:
- Her full name
- Perhaps bits of the address where she can be found like the school she goes to, the gym where she enrolled and the like.
- What she has been up to lately.
- The career that she is planning to pursue and her reasons for that.
- Her phone number.
- What she is planning to do right after your talk.
These are just actually some of the information that you might be able to get from a girl within a few minutes if you have mastered the skill. Do not feel down if you would not be able to get it right away. Remember that you would always have the chance to do so. Do not rush it because everything will come out naturally.
In talking to girls effectively, you should first be able to come up with a plan of how you are going to unveil her mask. So how would you exactly do it? Let me suggest a few things that I have learned from my researches and surveys.
- Make her feel comfortable with you by sharing something about yourself first.
The best way to divulge information from someone to is also divulge yours. Let her feel that it is okay to share a few matters with you because you have also shared about yours.
Do not make it as a one-sided conversation. Hence, if you want her to give you her number, then assure her that you would never tell it to anyone or you could also give yours. Exchange of numbers would be much better because the situation would not appear creepy to her.
- Ask her questions from general to specific.
There is always a so-called stages in asking questions. Try to be conscious about how specific your questions could go because it might only scare and intimidate her.
- Talk about something you know that both of you could relate.
If you think you share the same interest on one thing, then perhaps this could be a good topic for you to talk about.
Put yourself in the shoes of a lady. What would you feel if you are being told that you are too sexy even if it is still the first time that you have met? Does it sound too creepy? True, it is indeed a compliment. However, it is a compliment that is somewhat worded incorrectly. Instead of receiving a “thanks” and a smile”, you would most probably see an eyebrow raised.
Women really wanted to be appreciated. That is a fact that can never be rebutted. However, if said the wrong way, women would feel intimidated instead of being thankful. They would feel as if they are harassed by the very words uttered, not unless if she is some sort of an FHM model.
When you appreciate a woman, choose the right words. Think of it twice or thrice before completely saying it. If you have said the wrong words, then you might have just lost your chance of getting to know more about her better. So to help you, here are some tips that I can share with you when it comes to effectively choosing the right words:
- Instead of saying “You are so sexy”, say “You look great”.
A girl would really think that you are creepy if you tell her that she is so sexy. I am quite sure that she is thinking that you might be up to something or that you see her as some sex object only and not a woman.
So instead of saying these words to her, you can say it in a nicer way like “You look great”. Although it does not really literally translate into something that you intended to say, at least you were able to say it cool without actually intimidating her.
- Instead of saying “I like your outfit”, say “The dress looks good on you”.
No real man would ever tell a woman that he likes her outfit. Not unless you are some fashion guy who knows the fad, you would somehow give the girl an impression that you are just kidding around or that you are actually gay.
If you want to appreciate the way she dresses on your date, you can say “You look beautiful with your dress” or that “The dress looks good on you”. In this way, you would be able to send her the right message without offending her or giving her some second thoughts of believing you.
- Instead of saying “You turn me on”, say “I like you”.
Saying her that she turns you on is like saying that she has been successful in seducing or attracting you. Well, who are you to tell that to her? She might just get the wrong idea. Even if your intention is just to compliment her, you would only make her intimidated. Perhaps she would want you to get out of her sight.
- Instead of saying “You are so attractive”, say “You are beautiful”.
Both statements may sound similar but the latter is much better to hear than the former. The former sounds too arrogant while the latter sounds a bit formal but sweet. If you want to compliment her, just remember the very rules. CHOOSE THE RIGHT WORDS.
Going out with someone you liked most is the best thing that could have ever happened to your life. However, what if one day you know that you are just one of the many suitors that she has been dating lately, wouldn’t that scare you?
Remember that we are in a world wherein you are competing with a lot of people most especially in terms of survival. Although we are no longer in the age of natural selection, it would be much better that at least you have made efforts to really stand out among the rest.
You are attracted with a girl because she is beautiful and definitely appealing. Do you think you are the only one who feels that way? There are also other men who feel the same way as you do. Of course, you cannot stop them from liking her just because you are the first one to like her. That is totally absurd. What you need to do is to do something extraordinary that her other suitors have not thought of doing it. The key here is that the one who impresses her much becomes the winner. So, are you ready for the challenge?
Getting above the others is one clear goal that is quite different to pursue. That is why I have here a few tips that might help you stand out and win your girl. I hope this works for you:
- Always be positive.
Out with the bad vibes and let optimism rule. Do not think twice if ever you want to do something for her. Never think that she would not probably like what you have prepared for her. Always think positive. It is just a matter of mind over matter.
When you think it is the best, then definitely it would be the best. Show her that you are the man whom she can always depend on and not just some immature boy who only wants to play around.
- Be persistent.
Do not be daunted with the number of suitors that she has or how influential they could be. Never give up on her. Show to her that you are always around for her no matter what. Even if she tries to disregard you for no reason, show to her that you are really interested with her. Remember that women change their minds every now and then. You might just be a one lucky man when she sees that you have never given up on her all this time.
- Think of a good gimmick.
Be creative. Most women like surprises. They sometimes get bored with the usual romantic candlelight dinner. Think of a way that would really set you apart from the others. She would definitely remember you when you have done something extraordinary that others have not thought of doing.
- Make her want you more.
Amidst the fact that you are doing everything to let her notice you, do not forget that you also have to leave something for yourself. Do not give everything. Leave her wondering whether you would still call her or you would invite her for another date. Make her want you more, that is perhaps the most effective rule.
“There is no such thing as perfect”, as the saying goes. Indeed, no one is exempted from committing a mistake. Even experts in their fields can fail in one way or another. That is the same thing with flirting. You can never expect that it would always go along well all the time. From time to time, you would be able to experience a few bloopers that would only make you laugh at yourself when thinking about it.
I have actually encountered a similar incident with my date. When something came up, we just both end up laughing at each other. As for you, do not take it too seriously when you experience it. Remember that we are mere humans and are very susceptible to mistakes. So if ever you experience this one of these days, do not fear. The girl might just be able to understand you.
The key here is to be true to yourself no matter what. Just keep the composure and exit the situation gracefully. Who knows, this might be the turning point wherein you would be able to get her attention. So to help you, I have here a few tips that I can share with you just in case you commit mistakes while flirting with a girl:
- Just laugh at your mistakes.
The best thing that you can do about it is to laugh at your mistakes. Do not take it too seriously because if you do, you will only freak out the girl. So use this as an advantage to make her laugh with you and give her an impression that you are not really that affected. Girls would want men to take this pressure with grace. Admit and accept it. I am quite sure that she will not hate you for it.
- Act as if nothing happened.
If she did not notice that something happened, then you better act as if nothing really happened. Keep it to yourself. Good thing that you were able to make it as your own secret. Instead of really feeling sorry about what had happened, just get up and go on with your flirting schemes. Anyway, she would not mind anyway if something really happened. Not unless if she is the type of girl who always misjudge people because of their mistakes.
- You can make a joke out of it.
If you are caught off guard, you can use it to your advantage and make a joke out of it. She might just be laughing at it instead of really condemning you for that certain incident. Girls do understand. Just let them know the real thing and you do not need to do a lot of explaining later on. Just keep smiling and make her smile as well.
- Exit gracefully.
When you are about to leave and then something happened, do not panic. This is not the end of your “flirting career”. Just learn how to exit gracefully without letting her feel that you are really embarrassed and ashamed of what had happened. Grace under pressure, like they always say. Learn it and you will definitely get out of the situation fast.